BORN THIS WAY!!!

Yes I am a man! Yes I like men! Yes I am gay! That is my label!! Although labels?? Sounds a bit gay, don’t you think? ;o) It is all about finding love between all kinds and it does not really matter………it is all simply……….about being in love and being who you are.

I am back and I know have neglected you all a bit, but hey what can I say…..this boy has been busy and around. No no you dirty minds, I am still happily with my BF. It is just I have been busy with work and planning our vacations, because we can’t say we have got a summer lately here in Belgium. Now we had a summer storm, but I think we should have a summer first, before you can give this heavy rainfall a name??? Also I was been busy with my FB page which you definitely should visit and like, because you can find great pics, videos and interesting information there too. Follow the link: www.facebook.com/pinkinourlives

With all this said I have found out that still for many people it is difficult to come out, but mostly also hard to determine for themselves first who they actually are. In 76 countries it is a crime to be gay…..not a happy thought if you think you are one. But how would you know? Can you be gay by birth? Is it a choice or genetic? Well it is very easy…..YOU are born this way!!! Nobody decides to be straight or gay. It’s in your heart and mind. It is not a disease, you can’t get infected by it. It is not when a gay cook serves you food, you will digest it and makes you gay. It is not when you are sitting next to a gay couple in the cinema, it will rub off on you and you become gay. Gay people are just a part of our world we live in, like every race, nationality or culture. We have to accept and embrace that. That is what this blog Pink In Our Lives is all about, to enjoy and learn about the “PINK” community.

How do you know if you are gay!?!? It can be very confusing to determine what your sexual preference is. One way or the other, YOU are the only one if you are identifying yourself with a gay person. It can take years, and it can change several times during your search of identification, but always remember that it does not matter after all. Take your time, discover who you are and find out if you are, gay, straight or bisexual. If you are afraid to be a part of a minority group, just hang out with them and you will discover that they are just as normal as the average straight person? Also the gay prides are not a reflection of the daily gay world, just as a Halloween party for straights will be. And if you do not want to label yourself as straight or gay, just think of yourself as someone who loves people instead of only their gender.

In four easy steps you can find out who you are.

Step 1:

Be clear to yourself: what is your definition of being gay? Some people think that nobody can say for 100% sure if they are straight or gay, but most people choose to develop more their straight side. Some people think that homosexuality is genetically determined. Others feel that fantasizing about the same gender or sexual acts with one proves that you are gay. While others say it is just a sign of tendencies of being gay and others believe that everybody has these thoughts one time or another.

Step 2:

Make sure you understand that sexuality is a complexe subject. There is room for different kinds of sexuality. Some gay men like only men, but others have also relationships with women. If you are really interested in both, then it can be that you are bisexual. Don’t give yourself a label, until you are completely ready yourself.

Step 3:

Look at your own behavior towards friends lately. For example: if you think you are a lesbian, find out if there is not a female friend that you are more protective of than others. And for the guys: do you attack the same guy over and over during sport, trying to walk with him to the dressing room? Or try to catch a glimpse of him, when he takes of his shirt?

Step 4:

Remember you are not alone in this world. Many people (gay or not) have been in these situations like you. If you are not afraid, try to talk with your parents, friends or teachers. Many people react better than you had expected If you do not feel like talking to them, try to connect with a person you trust through school, work or internet by chatting or mailing. In many countries there are hotlines that you can call or groups where everybody can join and just listen to other people’s stories. You can even contact me, nothing is strange to me and I have been there too and helped a lot of my friends and family. In some countries there are even shows how to help others to come out to their friends and family. In holland this is with the handsome straight Arie Boomsma (see picture) and he helped a lot of young people to come to terms with their sexuality.

Off course not every talk to parents, friends or family goes well. Unfortunately some of them with bad and sad endings, but do not let those scare you. The importance of coming out is to be honest to yourself and then tell the rest. Be true to yourself and it will free yourself. Others need to know afterwards and give them time to accept and understand this too. You have needed some time and you can’t expect that they do not need time too. Probably most people knew already that you are gay, before you find it out for yourself ;o) They should respect you and your friends and if not, then it will be their loss. You have to live your own life. You are not alone, you are just BORN THIS WAY!!!

Have a PINK search for yourself day.

Big kiss,

Lesley

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