On the 11th of October is it again annual International Coming Out Day and I already wrote how to find out yourself if you are gay or not.( Check out: https://pinkinourlives.com/2013/06/23/born-this-way/ ) But…. If you are gay, you have to come out of the closet eventually and for everybody this experience is different. Not only in the way you tell it to your family and friends, but also how your outside world reacts on it.
I have been fortunate that the reactions were positive, but I know situations where the parents kick their child out of the house or where the person doesn’t want to live with themselves and try to commit suicide. This is terrible and every person should be who they are and live their own life. That’s why National Coming Out Day is important and to tell your story to help others who struggle. You are never obligated to tell, but coming out will help you to go forward in life and to feel liberated.
Here is my coming out story:
I was a late bloomer with coming out, because I have always been with girls at school. Off course I looked at boys after gym in the shower and in the dressing room, but I thought every guy did that. Looking who got pubes already, growing chest hair and how well-endowed the jocks and nerds were.
I started working at early age besides school and those older straight guys became your role models in a straight world. You grow up thinking you should act that way too and girls were hitting me up, so I went with the flow. Because of this I met a girl at work with whom I had a relationship for 5 years till my 25. In those 5 years a lot of first things happened, like having your first apartment, moving to another country and starting our own business. Our relationship was based on a very good friendship and still is……..BUT I was GAY!!!
She suspected it after some time, even though I had never been with a guy before my 25th, so she asked me if I was maybe bisexual? I already figured out I liked men in the last years, they made my pants bulge and fulfilled everything in my dreams, but I had a good life too and didn’t want to mess it all up for her and me. I answered maybe on her question and she suggested I should find out for sure. Bisexual sounded less scary at that time instead of saying I was a homosexual. But that didn’t take long either 😉
Now that the cat was out of the bag I had to tell everybody else that we broke up and that I am gay. I told my mother on the phone immediately and my sister screamed at the background asking when she was getting a brother-in-law. I waited to tell my father, because the family suspected something and he had it difficult with the change. He knew already, so why should I say it out loud to him. This was easier in the beginning. My parents were divorced since I was 5 and my mother told me to tell him anyway. When I did tell him, his only question for me was if I was happy and I answered yes. That was enough and the most important thing for him. (And that I didn’t go playing tonsil hockey in front of him LOL)
I was lucky that my family accepted it all and in the end on both family sides we are in total with 5 persons now. One big happy gay family. 😉 When you come out the closet, you feel liberated and free. You can be yourself, you don’t have to hide who you are or pretending something that isn’t there. Is it difficult? Hell yeah, off course, but you have to accept it first yourself and then the people around you can accept it too. Give them time, because you needed it too. And if they don’t……It will be their unfortunate loss.
Show your support and help others with your stories, inspire them and let them know that they are not alone. Share your comments, thoughts or stories here, on my Facebook page, tweet or send an email to firstname.lastname@example.org
Have a great PINK National Coming Out Day and check out who came out already here in 2014. Big kiss Lesley Middleton